I should quit complaining.
I'm sick of it myself.
I'm sick of me, though.
So it makes sense.




(sorry just bleh..)

guess i'm done...

got 2 pokemon shirts, 3 of those lacy shirt things from macy's, and a necklace from claire's...

(then i went back to michael's and i really do not know why)

back now..

so, i'm going to willowgrove alone today

and damn, they really do work better

...I should feel more guilt, and I suppose I'll feel it later. Oh well.


Life has become convenient for me...


I'm not going to the concert tomorrow. I'm sorry. I just...can't. It would be like torture (the kind I don't really like). I'm sorry, but I just can't. You can be incredibly angry, and you probably will be, and that's okay with me. I don't have a lot to lose anymore.


As always: be safe.
Even if I'm a hypocrite.

As it turns out, I have an appointment at 12 tomorrow. I'm not really looking forward to it, in all honesty. I always angst a lot more after going there.
(Ohwell??)
I watched Animal Planet for about 5453 hours. ((A very long time?)) I saw this adorable thing about giant otters. ;_; Hoshit, they make the cutest sounds. They sound like me when I'm purposely acting insane and making my voice crack. ;; I died at their insanity.
Then... ANIMAL COPS. Sad stuff, but it had good endings. ;; Puppies and kittens were adopted, as was a horse.
Then a special on this hippo called Jessica that a couple owns... It was cute, I guess. :( I don't really like hippos, though...

When I talked to my parents about the snake, my dad told me right away that they would pay for the actual snake (since I really want to pay for it--idkwhyeither). He struck up a deal that I'd pay for a starter kit + food, and they'd pay for the snake...and any other things.
My mom said we could get the kit and such tomorrow, so I'm happy about that.
http://www.moreptiles.com/available%20cornsnakes.htm
Anyone have an opinion? After all, if they're gonna pay for it.. nn; Then we could get it online... Fuck, I'll pay for shipping because I'm crazy like that... (And shipping is $35 wow...)
I'm sad because I really like blizzard ones... :/ And they don't have any available. </3
I think I'd like: lavender, amelanistic stripe, butter... :( that's really it...

From here (http://www.cornsnakes.net/pricelist.php?catid=2), I'd like: banded, blizzard, bloodred w/ white stomach, butter, creamsicle okeetee (<33), yellow creamsicle, hypomelanistic, motley butter, motley, motley striped, striped amelanistic, striped butter, striped, sunglow
(Shipping is $46 why. ;;'')

Anyway.
I'm bored.
I'll just wait for Depeche Mode to finish downloading. :(

I'm not sure about the sleepover/ANY plans tomorrow. Therapy tends to get in the way. :/
Sorry...

My mood is slightly better, but I'm gonna go crazy.. BD; I just have a feeling..

I've been listening to Manson way too much. P:

BORED.
BORED.
X_X
I have 100 dollars and I plan on spending it on my snake. I have giftcards, too (counting them, I'd have $160).

Anyway.
Bored.
To death.

My aunt is here (the one who had been married to Uncle Art)...
I had a dream before where she died; I had sobbed so hard in that dream because I never treated her well. I wouldn't give her a break; I wouldn't lend a hand; I wouldn't offer comfort.
And suddenly, she was dead.
I had sunk to the floor wailing openly as my parents watched me, their upper lips stiff and eyes studying me like the mutt I was born.

My grandparents gave me $50.

My aunt gave me $40 for Ru21 and $20 for Borders.

C:

-TRC feather necklace
-TRC discs 1 & 5
-Sketchpad
-Watercolor paper or something
-Watercolors
-Pencils (soft)
-Erasers
-Nail polish
-Three short skirts
-Sweatshirt from Ru21 (red with chinese shizz on the front and back)
-White jacket-thing
-Yellow jacket-thing
-Pantyhose (...)
-COPIC MARKERS <3
-Lots of chocolate shite
-Eyeshadow
-Concealer (most insulting gift ever.. maybenotthough..)
-mascara
-socks (..yeah...)
-Shojo Beat magazine
-can't remember what else.


^and i didn't deserve a fucking thing there. :/

probably going to go to sleep again since i basically didn't sleep at all last night. :| which is hellish for someone like me.

the excursion really happened, though i don't feel as if it did...

my mom found my WAHAYAY?! sketches and was like "klw disappointment" so... yeah... a little awkward...

ANYWAY.

*blares JOJ because no one is home*

Saw... The Black Dahlia.

It was very disappointing. x_X It had basically nothing to do with the murder, which was not portrayed realistically anyways. When they were cutting through her cheeks, it happened too suddenly and it wouldn't slice through so easily. :/ The knife wasn't that great.

Yeah...

G'morning. P:

MY AMAZING PHOTOSHOP SKILLS BD

I have decided that I will dye my hair again/cut it as well. :) I need a change or I'll do something crazy and shave off my hair. x__X;

Some haircuts/colors I like...:

i'm sure it was easier when i used to wag my tail
it must suck that i'm not obedient now.



k

watching Dead Silence is probably just going to inspire me (in a bad way but okay)

oh well

it's not like i'll be seeing anyone anyway

on another note:
someone should get me razors for christmas!!!! <3

I'm not sure why I played hooky today x_X

Try to leash me again and I'll fucking bite your hand off.

k

My head hurts, but that isn't new.
I was in such a good mood.. x_x; Where did that go...